The Nuptial Dimension of Christian Life

In our last reflection, we meditated on the interrelationship between the different states of life within the Church, and how in their inmost core they converge in a unity within the simple truth of intimacy with God, and with other persons in God. We said that there is a mystery deeper than the external expressions of every vocation, and yet which is not opposed to them; it is rather the fire that burns gently in the midst of every authentic Christian path, and cradles them all within its single mystery. This is the mystery of the enfolding love of the Trinity, who has created every heart for intimate union with himself in love, for pure and joyful acceptance of the outpouring of his gift and for reciprocal surrender to him. It is precisely this intimate relationship of love, this dialogue of prayer and contemplation, which allows God to draw us close to his Heart and to unite us to himself in the profound intimacy that he thirsts to have with us.

We could define the reality of which we have been speaking as the filial core of all human and Christian life. In other words, this is the truth of being a beloved child of the heavenly Father, created in the image of his eternal Son, who for his part rests always in the bosom of his Father in abiding joy and peace. It is precisely in the heart of my relationship with the Father, as I look into his loving gaze upon me and welcome this gaze, that I experience the authentic truth of who I am. This childlike relationship with the Father, this experience of being sheltered and cradled in his paternal Love that enfolds the universe, is the foundation of my life and of the life of every person.

And this filial mystery also makes possible the blossoming of another dimension of relationship with God, which is rooted in childhood and yet bears nuances and meanings all its own. This other dimension is that of nuptial intimacy or spousal union. The Church’s teaching is very clear that the heart of the Church herself is inherently nuptial; it is precisely the meeting-place of her virginal and bridal heart with the Heart of her Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. The same is true for us, individually, as is true for the Church as a whole: the mystery of nuptial union lies at the core of God’s loving desire for us.

As the Father has created us to be his beloved children, to open ourselves to welcome his gift and to surrender ourselves trustingly into his embrace, so too Christ has willed to become our divine Bridegroom, the true Spouse of every human heart. And it is, indeed, precisely through the heart of this nuptial relationship that we find ourselves rooted anew, more and more deeply, in the heart of our identity as a child of God. This is because Christ comes to us—in his Incarnation, Passion, and Resurrection, and in his enduring presence in our life—and seeks to awaken our hearts to authentic love once again. He does this precisely as the Spouse of our hearts, as the deepest Desire of our souls. And yet when we open ourselves to his gift, assenting to be loved by him and to love him radically and totally in return, what does he do? He unites us to himself and then carries us, within his embrace, to be with him where he is: in his own home in the bosom of the Father!

This profound union between the filial and nuptial elements of Christian life is expressed beautifully in a poem of Saint John of the Cross. He has the Son say to the Father, concerning his becoming man in order to rescue his bride:

This is fitting, Father,

what you, the Most High say;

for in this way

your goodness will be more evident,

your great power will be seen

and your justice and wisdom.

I will go and tell the world,

spreading the word

of your beauty and sweetness

and of your sovereignty.

I will go seek my bride

and take upon myself

her weariness and labors

in which she suffers so;

and that she may have life,

I will die for her,

and lifting her out of that deep,

I will restore her to you. (Romances on the Incarnation)

The Bridegroom Christ comes to us, not only to unite us to himself, but to carry us back to our heavenly Father. Jesus himself speaks of this mystery at the Last Supper, where he unveils the deepest desires and aspirations of his Heart before his disciples:

In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go and prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. (John 14:2-3)

This “taking to oneself” is the privilege of the Bridegroom, who after the time of betrothal has concluded and the wedding is celebrated, at last takes his bride to himself, into the home that he has prepared for her. When Jesus therefore says, “I will take you to myself,” he is addressing his precious bride and sharing with her his own deep desire, his desire to welcome his beloved into the intimacy of his own home. Shortly after expressing this to his disciples, Jesus turns directly to his Father, and speaks with him openly in their presence. He prays:

The glory which you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to behold my glory which you have given me in your love for me before the foundation of the world. (John 17:22-24)

Jesus unites us to himself in this life, drawing near to us and giving himself to us entirely, and through this unity he prepares us for the fullness of intimacy that awaits us at the end of time, when he will come again to take us at last into the abode of the Father. There we shall live with our divine Bridegroom and our heavenly Father, bound together in the Spirit of love and intimacy, for all eternity.

This spousal relationship with Christ burns like a fire at the heart of the life of every person—for each one of us has been created to be a spouse of the Lamb of God, to be joined to him in intimate love. We have been created for the One who changes the water of our lives—of our hopes and longings, our wounds and fears—into the wine of his Love. We have been created for the One of whom John the Baptist said: “He who has the bride is the Bridegroom. The friend of the Bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at his voice” (John 3:29). We have been created for the One who, lifted up on the Cross, draws us to himself and welcomes us into the home of his own open Heart, pouring forth into us the full torrent of his love. In response to this immense love, we can cry out:

How precious is your loving kindness, O God!

I take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

I feast on the abundance of your house,

and you give me to drink from the torrent of your delight.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light I see Light itself. (cf. Psalm 36:7-9)

We can truly exclaim with the bride in the Song of Songs:

Draw me after you, let us make haste.

The King has brought me into his chambers. …

With great delight I sat in his shadow,

and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

He brought me to the banqueting house,

and his banner over me was love. …

I am my Beloved’s,

and his desire is for me. (Song 1:4; 2:3-4; 7:10)

And further, he himself says to each one of us:

Behold, you are beautiful, my love;

behold you are beautiful…

You have ravished my heart…

you have ravished my heart with a glance of your eyes. (Song 1:15; 4:1, 9)

The Church herself describes this nuptial mystery, in the document Verbi Sponsa, as follows:

The history of God’s relationship to humanity is a history of spousal love, prepared for in the Old Testament and celebrated in the fullness of time. Divine Revelation uses the nuptial image to describe the intimate and indissoluble link between God and his people (cf. Hos 1-2; Is 54:4-8; 62:4-5; Jer 2:2; Ezek 16; 2 Cor 11:2; Rom 11:29). The Son of God presents himself as the Bridegroom-Messiah (cf. Mt 9:15; 25:1), come to seal the marriage of God with humanity, in a wondrous exchange of love, which begins in the Incarnation, comes to its summit of self-offering in the Passion and is for ever given as gift in the Eucharist. The Lord Jesus pours into human hearts his love and the love of the Father, enabling them to respond fully, through the gift of the Holy Spirit who never ceases to cry out with the Bride: “Come!” (Rev 22:17). This fullness of grace and holiness is realized in “the Bride of the Lamb…coming down out of heaven from God, shining with the glory of God” (Rev 21:9-10).

This document is dedicated to the vocation of cloistered nuns in the heart of the Church, and thus allows us to come full circle again. We have emphasized the universality of the call to intimate nuptial union with Christ—a universality that is also utterly unique in the heart and the life of every person. This call to spousal union, just like the gift of childhood, is deeper than the distinction of vocations, and yet present in the innermost core of every person’s life, at the very foundation of our being as the reflection of God’s own pure and gratuitous love for us.

But it is sad to see how obscured this brilliant reality can often be our daily lives, how easily we lose sight of it in the multiple burdens, struggles, and responsibilities of life, or in our own fear and shame, which causes us to dwell in a place of “exile” where we feel safe from the piercing gaze of God. This is precisely why some persons, both men and women, are chosen in order to devote their lives in a radical and exclusive way to this mystery of union with God—not only because it is good in itself, the fullest blossoming of the heart’s desires and the central human vocation, but also because they want to allow God’s light to shine more brilliantly in our world through them, so he may make his loving call heard more vividly in the hearts of all of the children of God:

The nuptial dimension belongs to the whole Church, but consecrated life is a vivid image of it, since it more clearly expresses the impulse toward the Bridegroom. In a still more significant and radical way, the mystery of the exclusive union of the Church as Bride with the Lord is expressed in the vocation of cloistered nuns (and monks), precisely because their life is entirely dedicated to God, loved above all else, in a ceaseless straining toward the heavenly Jerusalem and in anticipation of the eschatological Church confirmed in the possession and contemplation of God. Their life is a reminder to all Christian people of the fundamental vocation of everyone to come to God; and it is a foreshadowing of the goal towards which the entire community of the Church journeys, in order to live for ever as the Bride of the Lamb. (n. 4)

God is always here, alive in his holy Church. Christ is always drawing near to us, yearning to espouse us lovingly to himself and to carry us into the bosom of his Father. Whatever our state of life, he has created and chosen us for a breathtaking intimacy with himself—an intimacy so deep that the union of husband and wife pales in comparison with it. He yearns—yes, he thirsts ardently—to give himself to us completely in love, and to find a space of welcome in our hearts. In turn, when we welcome him and his love in this way, we find him opening himself up to us and taking us into the recesses of his own Sacred Heart, which becomes our home and our dwelling-place, where he shelters us unceasingly and gives us the drink of his ineffable Love.